Monday, 3 January 2011 | 7:28 pm
Monday bluez & the story continues,
Goodbye 2010. It's 2011 alr. Time flies so quickly.
And before i knew it'll be 2012.
New year resolution.. What's mine? :\
My ministry i/c made one for me, that is not to be late to serve from this week on. :x
I think one of my NY resolution, which it's the most impt one imo, will be spending quality time with close friends and love ones.
I know i've been such a lousy friend to everyone. Yeah, to everyone, including huimin and vania, though they're my closest friends.
I didnt try to keep in contact with them, despite that they kept smsing and msning me. I feel so bad. I mean, I do think of them constantly, and I miss them all the time, but I dont put it into action. I dont try to sms/call them, or even try to find time to meet up with them. It feels like I'm waiting for them to contact me. They're always the one who always initiate to meet up. It's until recently that i've tried to keep in contacts with quite a handful of my close and good friends. I'm afraid I might lose them.
Honestly speaking, sometimes i didnt contact them cause i'm lazy to keep in contact with them. i feel so exhausted by all the things that I'v got to do everyday. I even lost my interest to draw and write my diary. And I really feel so lousy about myself.
Sometimes when I think of what I've done as a friend, a close friend, a BFF, I realise I havent done much. Srsly, I always wonder how's their life and whether they're doing alright etc, but i dont make any effort to contact them when they're just an sms/a phone call away. Instead, I just continue to lie on my bed and have these questions unanswered. I didnt put much effort.
But that doesnt mean I dont love them. I still love them alot. I really really love and miss them. Havent meet huimin for sooo long, i feel really sad. Extremely sad. Our schedules clash and we can't find a date to meet up. :\ It's like I didnt cherish my close and good friends around me.
All of a sudden i feel so empty inside.
But no matter what, they will always be my closest friends forever and ever.
Huimin will always be my BFF, Vania will always be my closest meimei, no matter what, even if they start to dislike me and stop trying to keep in contact with me because i'm still such a lousy friend.
I'm really not good at keeping in contact with them. Sometimes I dont even try to tell them about my life and open up to them. It's kinda like my weakness. I dont know how on earth am i to explain to them if they were to ask, i'll probably just cry.
I must have better time management.
God please help me.
I feel so empty inside. :'(
Please let me cry my heart out. Im tired of not being able to cry despite trying to force out tears from my eyes.
All of a sudden i feel so frustrated, not of everyone, but of myself. I think I've screwed up my own life in 2010.
I really feel so bad. I'm not a good person, I havent been good to everyone.
If only I can manage my time well. And here in 2011, I know I will.
I must believe 2011 will be a blessed and better year for me.
Greater things are yet to come, vivi. :)
2011 will be the best year yet for you, for me, and everyone else.
Friends that I will always rmb: Those in the NPGG, BFF huimin, vania meimei, wanxin, gabrielle, yingtian, dexy, tongy, esther, belinda. I love all of you. Sorry for being such a lousy friend.
