Wednesday 29 December 2010 | 1:16 am
i'm a rocketeer ;) & the story continues,
Oh well, shall watch HowIMetYourMother then. Havent watch it for the whole day. And I shall watch just an episode. ;)
I keep wanting to watch Rapunzel but the tickets are always sold out man! :\ And almost everyone I know has watched it! >:( Asked bro just now, but he wasnt free tmrw(as in later). haiya, worse come to worse, i'll watch it myself. I still wanna watch it badly sia. :'<
Haha, my mum bought 2pairs of colour contact lens for herself, but finds it super uncomfortable when she puts on, so she gave everything to me. ^^ yay i have new pair of contact lens to wear. i shall keep it for CNY. :>
P.S NPGG ppl ROCKSZSZSZSZ! I know it is safe to say that we'll stay in contact for many many many many many many years! :') Can't waiting for the next gathering! I'm actually aready excited for it! xD
Tuesday 28 December 2010 | 12:37 pm
My heart will sing how great is our God & the story continues,
Since the songs in my ipod touch cannot be transferred to my macbook, i kinda like downloaded all the songs again. So troublesome. Hmpfhfhfhfhfhfh.
I was downloading some christian songs.
Really love this song though. It's been a long time since i've listened to this song. I still remember that we used to sing this song back in secondary school. Really missed chapel session. :\
Here it is. It's 'How Great is Our God' by Chris Tomlim. :)
Another two of my fav: PlanetShakers - So in love with you & Lincoln Brewster - Today is the day. I added this song in my mixpod playlist at the side of my blog. ;) Xiaomei has these in her ipod and i asked her to transfer to my ipod touch for me. ^^ And that was like last year. Time really fliesss.
So many nice songs that I havent listened for a looooooong loooooong time actually! No wonder my bro says he likes all the songs in my ipod touch. Those in my ipod are all the 'old' nice songs that we used to sing back in primary and secondary school.
Ohoh, and cool or what. I realise the radio in itunes have christian fm. And i'm currently listening to The Healing Stream. itunes totally rocks. (Y)
Friday 24 December 2010 | 2:29 pm
dont say i love you & the story continues,
And as expected, i tend to be more lazy to blog during the holiday sia. lol. i dont know why i always wanna blog when i'm studying/doing school work leh. tsk.
Expect myself to blog less oftem from now alr.
There's candlelight service in church last sun btw! ♥♥♥
Totally love candlelight service. why is it only once per year sia. at least have it twice a year what, like during christmas week too. :\
Btw, I'm glad that I have few close friends in secondary school who are in the same church as well. Crystal and huiqing smsed me before service and we met to chat for awhile. xD They're really really nice ppl. Really glad that I'm still in contact with them! :) I missed the annual NPGG outing with them this year, and i really hope i wont missed it next year!
Went to somerset for fellowship after service. And there's fleeeea market @ scape! haiya, but abit boring leh. didnt see anything that i like. anyhow, i bought 3pairs of pretty pretty earrings at cineleisure which cost only 90cents per pair! haha so happy! it's cheaper than almost everything in the flea market sia. ^^
We had an old E462s reunion @ somerset/orchard as well. Old E462s as in the old members that used to be in E462 in the past. xD We miss them so much. Glad we had that reunion though it's only like 3-4 of them turned up. They're really a cool bunch of ppl leh. Had so much laughter with them around, which i dont think we will be able hear it in the current E462. I dont mean that there's not much laughter in the current E462s lah, but it just feels different. Took sooooo many pictures with Kim's camera. I realised I used to love posing and smiling for the camera ALOTTTT but now, whenever someone asked me to pose, i'll feel damn paiseh to pose or smile sia. If i were to smile it'll most likely not look natural at all. Why is it so ah. I really wonder. :\
Celebrated our dearest Esther's bday too! :)
Bought her the candyskull skullcandy headphone that she wanted. xD
Dont know if she was really surprised or not! LOL.
Cant really rmb what we did after that though.
Summary of what i did for the past few days:
Mon didnt do anything much, just towards evening i've invited chan to come over to play wii tgt with bro and sis' bf. Tue.. what did i do on tue? o.o Wed i went for my braces appointment (yes green and red braces yayyy!) and met vania at orchard to shop & took pictures. Went to trimmed my hair too. Cant tell that i've go a haircut btw, and it cost $48 after discount. siao one.
And yesterday.. Oh yes i rmb. Met chan to go to botanical garden for 'photoshoot' by kim the photographer. Kinda fun i would say. I enjoyed the photoshoot. At first i thought it would be a lil awkward, but i was wrong. xD Met wanxin and huiqing for late lunch at ikea. I missed ikea food! And i wanna go there for lunch/dinner again soon! >:)
Andandand, ahahha here comes Christmas service. Cant wait to watch the drama. Really enjoyed every Christmas and Good Friday's drama. I know its gonna be another funny drama again. Thats what i heard too. xD Tmrw im gonna serve in children church as well. YEEHAHAHA. :D
Invited gaby to come my house for christmas celebration tonight and tgt with my cousins for tmrw night too. Glad that she's excited, cause i am excited too! so fun to hang out with her. (Y) Next time if can i also will go her house stay over. Really very glad to have a few close friends. :')
Christmas Christmas!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWOFRONTTEETH, MY TWOFRONT TEETH. :B
Thursday 16 December 2010 | 10:41 pm
GAH. & the story continues,
I dont know where can i make myself feel better. I'm reallyy madddddd nowwww. Because
'
SOMEONE IS BEING EXTREMELY ANNOYING TODAY. :@
And I dont know what else I can say here.
Dont talk then dont talk lor. HMPH.
| 8:49 am
We're sure a happy nation of grumblers. & the story continues,
There's a particular type of person I cannot tolerate. I just cant stand people who grumble about how sucky their life is, and how God is unfair to them and why can't they have normal life like anyone else and how they would wanna end their life and stuff. It's okay if they said it once or maybe twice (sometimes life can be really depressing and grumbling about it once in a long while is kinda normal, except for the ending life part), but all the time is really intolerable leh.
They claimed that they have the lousiest life ever and anyone else wouldnt have a life that can be lousier than them, but how do they know they have the worst life in the whole wide world? Their views are totally subjective lah. Everyone else in the world have their own problems in life FOR SURE. Those who didnt complain/grumble doesnt mean they dont have problems in their life, but they chose to look on the brighter side of life. They chose to stay positive even though they have a lousier life than those who complained about them having the lousiest life in the world.
Okay, so now i'm also complaining about these people. -.-
Well, actually i dont mean to grumble about them. All that I just wanna say is that I can't stand myself too.
Yes, I'm one of these people, I really find myself so annoying and irritating.
To be precise, I USED TO be like this lah. I'm better now.
When I look at these people, they remind me of myself in the past, where I used to wanting to end my life and doing all sorts of dramatic stuff like cutting wrist, trying to hang myself, jumping down from the building (jumping from the 4th-storey btw -.-) and banging my head against the wall. I ran away from home, had my parents to search for me and get them worried the whole night when i'm staying at my friend's house till late midnight, not wanting to go home. But somehow my parents always managed to track down my friends' contacts and contact the friend whose house i was staying, and I always get home by the next morning.
LOL. Come to think of it, I find it really funny leh. I think I was really immature then. I remembered being super rebellious too. I cant believe I was soooo mad in the past. I really thank God that I've changed and moved on.
Since I used to be like one of those abnormally negative-thinking and dramatic people, I feel that I have no rights to find them intolerable. I wanna help them and tried helping them and gives them ideas on how to deal with it by looking on the brighter side of life, but their mindset is really FIXED that they refused to do so(they said that they've tried it but it didnt work). And aha, once again i'm not trying to criticize them, because I WAS ONCE LIKE THIS TOO, and now I'm really embarassed by myself that I was once like that. I used to call this particular friend/classmate after school everyday and complained about my life and how i wanna end my life. I cant believe she actually never fails to answer my call everytime i called her and tolerated me for hours through the phone daily sia. (Y)
It seems that I need to be more like her. I wanna be more like her, in fact. I wanna help them.
Tuesday 14 December 2010 | 9:35 am
And now you're my habit. & the story continues,
And yesterday i've found out that development psych test was on WED instead of FRI. ._.
And that's tmrw! And thank God I've found out ytd. If I didn't ask, then I would have been doing lesson plan now. Tell me I cant be more careless than that.
I'll probably start studying again at 10am, which is in another 5minutes' time. :\
Holiday please come sooon. But that means i got to complete my assignments faster. Now I couldnt decide if I want the holiday to come sooner or not. :(
But TCH, as if the time will go faster or slower as I want it to be.
Gonna start studying soon. soonsoonsoon.
I dislike studying.
It's all in the mind, you know.
but at the wrong time.
I always have that mindset and didn't wanna change it,
but now you're my habit, my good good habit.
And aren't I'm glad.
Monday 13 December 2010 | 9:09 am
& the story continues,
EDU PYSCH TEST TODAY. :\
Havent finish studying my edu psych. I cant study too long, so I'm taking a short break n ow.
GAHHHH I havent complete my lesson plan assignment too. I'm kinda stuck when I was doing it halfway.. :\ Gonna ask my teacher for help. I wanna complete my assignment by tmrw man. At most wed.
Didnt study much ytd, i cant stay awake for the whole day ytd sia. I fell asleep for more than 5times I'm veeeeeeeery sure. It's only till 12am++ that i start to feel less sleepy and finally able to focus on studying. o.o
Slept at 3am+ after that. Glad that I was able to study quite a bit before I slept last night.
And I cant wait for mid-sem test to end mannnnnn! Cant wait for holidays to come! :\
OKAYYY. Off to study now! JIAYOU VIVI, mid-sem test will soon be over. ;)
P.S I really ♥ this particular msg. Probably my favourite msg of the year. xD
"Eh can call me? You don't need to talk. I find it easier to sleep with you on the phone."
Saturday 11 December 2010 | 9:01 pm
& the story continues,
Studied with chan in from morning till around 4pm++ at changi airport. Okay i didnt really study, i was doing my lesson plan assignment. Doing that assignment is so frustrating. Do until so long still havent finish. I find it so hard to think of the activities for the lesson plan sia. Sososososo frustrating. My laptop went flat after that, it died at a good timing anw, or not i would have explode if i continue doing the assignment. So I studied after that. for like around 45min only. :\
Stupid chan so annoying, kept tickling me while studying. That crazy boy claimed that it keeps him motivated to study. -.- I would have studied more if he's not so siao today. :p Glad I met him to study together though. x)
Went to serve after that! Totally enjoyed serving today. Haiya, i enjoyed serving every sat actually. xD Glad I went to serve too. Never fail to feel less stressed and vexed after serving. It feels like burden and worries are lifted off my shoulders after serving every Sat. Hopefully I'm able to focus better when I study now.
But I'll probably start worrying and panicking again because I still have annoying assignments to complete. :\
| 8:43 am
& the story continues,
I dont understand why I get so nervous so easily, though I may not show it. In school, with friends, and everywhere else where i need to communicate with many people. I realised I always get mental block almost all the time, even when i'm talking to friends. Okay, I shall convinced myself that it's ALL IN THE MIND, which I think it's kinda true though. Everytime I got to present in class, I never fail to screw it all up. And I believed I blushed everytime I go up to present, cause i can feel blood gushing up to my face each time I present/give speech. And although I ended up looking clumsy and made everyone laughed, it doesnt ease me from feeling less nervous. I feel more embarrassed in fact, which in turn gave me mental block.
Honestly speaking, I always feel that people will look down on me after I present because I presented lousily, and I think that's why I feel so lousy and embarrassed of myself everytime I present/gave speech, or speak up, thus feeling less confidence each time.
Had OMEP storytelling meeting with the other OMEP members who signed up for it and practiced storytelling. It's really challenging to me mann, I cant imagine reading in front of so many kids in the library. :\ And i'm also gonna help out in MYMCA. Currently serving in children church every sat somemore. I'll probably will break down and cry lor, or i'll probably have heart attack that i got to do all these so often, but i'm still gonna try.
I feel so stressed. Tsk I always get so stressed so easily leh.
But it's probably all in the mind, again.
Friday 10 December 2010 | 10:09 am
& the story continues,
LESSON PLAN IS SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO DOOOOOO. :\
okay lah, it's not really hard to do, but
it's so COMPLICATING LEHHHH, and there's
SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH TO DO!
Blame it on me, who keeps thinkng that there's more than enough time to complete.
My time management is really lousy ttm. Forever one. :\
Hopefully i'm able to complete it by sunday.
Nono, I WILL complete by sunday LAH.
IT'S ALL IN THE MIND. :)
JIA YOU VIVI.
Wednesday 8 December 2010 | 9:16 pm
& the story continues,
I was studying like mad for OTCM test when I reached home at 1pm just now. Sigh I dont wanna flunk any test anymore ever since I've sat for that annoying EYL&L test on monday. I tried to squeeze everything I can into my little brain within that 4hours i have to study just now man. :( I laid hand on the paper before i start doing. x) And thank God that I remembered everything when I was doing the test. There's no MCQ at all sia, I didnt know but i managed to answer every qn yayyyy! :) On the way to school saw chan at the bridge, have so much to talk to him about but i cant cause my test was about to start then. :\ and I didnt know kaixuan took the same cds LOL. He was sitting in front of me during the test lah. xD
And so, i'm left with 2 more term tests to go. And i have so many projects and assignments to do. Hopefully I can finish most of them by this week, though it's kinda like impossible. :\
| 8:36 am
& the story continues,
Lesson plan for Environmental Awareness and Numeracy due next fri!
And I havent even started yet. I dont really know how to do. GAH. bad student, lousy student. :\
Can't focus ytd, i tried to do my lesson plans/study but i ended up fb-ing, tweeting, checkingemails and doing everything else except for studying. When mama asked me to go for a golf with her while sis asked me to go shopping tgt i frowned at them and told them i wanna study. -.-
I tried to wake up at 6am today to study a lil, but i ended up waking up at 7.45am. :\
I'm gonna find ways to motivate myself to study man.
Wanted to study with stupid boy, but i think he can study better alone.
Haiya.
I know I'm gonna flunk my L&L alr, and I dont wanna flunk my other tests as well.
UGHHHHHHHHHH!
THAT'S IT. I'm gonna tell myself I can do it and I wont fail lah.
AH, and I'll probably be late for school. -.- it's 8.50am now!
Tuesday 7 December 2010 | 5:54 pm
& the story continues,
My bro stinks.
My bro's bag stinks.
My bro's clothes REALLY REALLY STINKS!
HE'S BACK FROM CAMP!!! D:
The moment i got out of bathroom he was standing right in front of me. And he really really stinks. *puke* Okay lah, maybe i exaggerated a lil. But i didnt exaggerate about his clothes and his bag lah. It's so stinky it fills the whole living room with this very unpleasant smell. It smells probably 10 times stronger than the one on his body can. That smell that comes from his bag overtook the smell of my mum's cooking leh. And he is not even clearing his stuff, wait till everyone in the house faint he also wont clear one lor TCH. How i wish i have blocked nose right now.
Sunday 5 December 2010 | 10:05 am
& the story continues,
Family gathering today over at godparents' house! :D ahahahas, more of like cousins gathering actually, since my parents and my other cousins' parents didnt go over for steamboat. The adults are buzyyyyy, so only the 'children' turned up for steamboat. Had a greatttt time over there. Studied a lil over at cousin's house. Should have slept instead of studying there, cant really focus well since cousin Sharon and her bf were talking to me. But i enjoyed talking to them though. xD
Was a lil nervous and excited when I was on my way to their house before that, cause I actually havent told my cousins and my godparents about me being being attached. Haiya, I was expecting that my cousins should know lah, since it is official in fb. So hard not to find out unless they dont really use fb lah. Wanted to tell my godparents about it, but cousin Sharon said i shouldnt tell her yet lol. She said i should just tell her when i'm 18, and that's like.. 6months later? LOL. That's kinda like a 'legal age' for the children to get attached in the family (excluding my family haha, since my parents are less strict than them). That's what cousin Julia said. xD
So in the end, I didnt tell my godparents about it. :\
I cant imagine when i tell them 6months later sia. If they were to ask me when i'm attached, and i said 8months ago, I'll probably still get it fom them lor. Lol. But I should just wait for 6months and see what happen lah. xD
While cousin Julia drove me home, she was like asking me how i know chan and stuff. Before her cousin Sharon and her boyf did asked me about him too LOL. And both of them all said he should be some smart boy cause he's studying in some banking and finance course. YA, he's some 'smart' boy, act smart only. :p cousin Julia also mentioned about the 3 F's that we should have in life, that is Family, Friends and Faith. She was saying that in any case if we happen to break up, which i really hope not, I must always rmb this 3 Fs. If we dont have family, it's okay that if we have only friends and faith. And if we do not have friends, then we should have family and faith. It works either ways, but it's best to achieve the 3 Fs. Our life will be complete if we achieved the 3 Fs.
Saturday 4 December 2010 | 10:45 pm
& the story continues,
Suppose to meet the cool boy at changi airport to study at 9am, but i woke up at 8.30am knowing that i'll never make it on time and also knowing that he'll still be sleeping (since i didnt receive any sms/missed calls by him) then. At last we both reached changi airport at around 11am, cause i was doing my art prep for children church and he woke up only at 10am+ LOL.
Actually I set my alarm at 6.30am lor, but i couldnt wake up and let it ring for 2hours. :p
Studied till 2pm, and was quite surprised that I'm actually able to study quite a bit with that cool boy there with me. In fact I can study better. I thought I'll be distracted by his presence or smth. Glad that he did his tutorial too, though he didnt finish doing it. I wanna study with him again sia. Off to serve at children church after that. So many crying kids today. Feeling sooo shag after serving. Gah. And now as I'm typing, I'm like falling asleep alr. Probably I should just stop here.
Friday 3 December 2010 | 7:54 am
& the story continues,
- AHhhhhhh. I'm feeling nervous about my class quiz later.
- I'm feeling cold, I think I'm gonna fall sick soon.
- I feel really bad cause I realise forget to send out sms to the cg.
- I really look down on myself, cause sometimes I really feel that I'm so useless.
- I'm of no help to others. I only bring problems to them.
- Class quiz is not meant for us to fail, it'll definitely be easy enough for us to pass. Besides the teacher is really lenient when she marked our previous quizzes.
- I dont know what positive thing can I say for this. Uh, since i feel that I'm falling sick soon, I should take good care of my body now.
- I didnt do it on purpose, next time I should set reminder in case I forget again.
- I'm not useless. I know I can be of help in some other areas. I'll be giving storytelling to the kids in MYMCA later. see, I'm not useless.
- I dont bring problems to them. Helping them with little things like carrying stuff for them and bringing stuff that they need show that I really make a difference.
Thursday 2 December 2010 | 10:06 am
Stream of Consciousness Morning Journal & the story continues,
I've read an article about having a morning journal, and i thought it's quite interesting. Writing down whatever you thought in the morning journal the moment you wake up every morning w/o editing can help ppl to rid themselves of "mental debris", allowing them to become more focus on accomplishing their goals during the rest of the day.
After writing down your thoughts, read thru it again and underline those thoughts that you find negative, then rewrite them as a positive affirmation.
e.g (negative thought) "I'm feeling restless to go to school for lesson later. "
(and rewrite with positive affirmation)
"I'm excited and I cant wait to go to school for lesson muahahaha."
Okay, maybe that example i gave wasnt that good, but haha. :p
Anw, I decided I should TRY to write one every morning when i wake up too. yeeeehahahaha.
Okay, though I woke up like 3hours ago, but since i'm in the school library doing nothing (cause i skipped lecture cause i'm late and dare not enter the LT now :\), i thought this is a good time to write my 'morning' journal today. :p
- I'm feeling depressed cause I lost track of the work and projects that i got to do and complete and I dont know where to start from now.
- I feel bad for being late for every lesson all the time, I have no time management.
- I am so stupid cause i know a few strategies to help me solve these problems, but i dont apply those strategies and all i do is doing nothing to solve the problems.
- I can't wait to meet my friends and celebrate their birthday during our long break today. :)
- I'm afraid that I will start to feel unmotivated to do my work an project soon.
- I dont look forward to the next time that i got to speak up.
- I am afraid of being embarassed by myself and people giving me the weird look.
- And I dont really like my sweaty palm.
- I am motivated to do my work and projects and as long as I do it whenever I am free, even if i have 30min of time to do, I can finish my work and project bit by bit. :)
- Everyone has their weakness, I shouldnt feel bad about it but to slowly change for the better. It will happen. x)
- I am not stupid and I should try applying some strategies and see if they can help to solve my problems. No harm trying even if it fails, cause at least i know i've tried it. :))
- I will always be motivated and excited to complete my projects and workk! I will keep having different ways to keep me motivated! xD
- "You'll never enjoy your life living behind the bars. YOu're so afraid of taking chances, how you gonna reach the top?" I should not be afraid or nervous of speaking up, but grab every opportunity to do so, as much as i dont want to. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
- I shouldnt be embarrassed by myself, it's normal for people to make mistake and ppl dont give me weird look. I think too much. (LOL at this. xD)
- What's wrong with sweaty palm? So many people say they dont mind my sweaty palm, in fact almost everyone around me, so why do i mind so much about it? Forget about those who're disgusted by my sweaty palm, they dont know what they're saying and i still love them for who they are. :):):)
Ohgosh, I should try to love myself more man.
Ahhhh! I do feel better now! I know I'm starting to love myself moreee tooo. :D:D:D:D
