Monday 17 January 2011 | 11:44 pm
freaky quiz & the story continues,
The quiz that tongy introduced to me is really 'freaky', like what she's said.
It's so zhun leh. whenever i do it when i have different emotions, the results really turned out like how my emotions were at that time.
Your Existing Situation
Feeling dissatisfied in her current situation and has a strong desire to escape or find an immediate solution.
Your Stress Sources
"Feels unappreciated and in an unpleasant position. Needs personal recognition and the respect of others, since she has not been about to find partners who value the same things she does. she holds back her emotions and is unable to give fully of himself, but lasting isolation makes her want to change those ways and surrender to her deep urges. Giving in to her natural instincts and urges is a sign of weakness, so feeling this way makes her weak and irritable. Fighting these urges makes her feel stronger, as if she can take on anything that comes her way. Longs to be valued as an important associate and admired for her personal qualities."
Your Restrained Characteristics
Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.
Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. she is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity.
"Believes her hopes and dreams are realistic, but needs reassurance from others. Has strict standards when looking for a partner and wants guarantees that she will not be disappointed or lose."
"Willing to become emotionally involved because she feels isolated and alone. she tries to avoid conflict and disagreements, but her arrogance leads her to quickly take offense."
Your Desired Objective
"Needs peaceful surroundings. Looking for relief from stress, conflict, and arguments. Tries to control potentially harmful situations and arguments by treading lightly. Is sensitive, emotional, and has an eye for detail."
Your Actual Problem
Lack of energy leaves her unnoticed to pursue further activities or demands placed on her. she feels powerless which leaves her agitated and depressed. Tries to escape from her struggles by searching for peaceful and restful conditions in which to relax and recover in an atmosphere full of security.
Your Actual Problem #2
"Wants to be valued and respected, seeks a close and peaceful relationship with a shared respect of each other."
The coolest free personality test ever.
| 12:11 am
Distracted & the story continues,
Because I cant help but to be distracted. I cant be not distracted at all, I cant help it. Taking me longer to do my work cause cant focus.
Celebrated sis' bday @ suntec.
Whole family said i'm sweet cause I bought smth sweet. ^^v
I feel like this month is my season of giving instead, since december's usually the month that I spend alot and give stuff to many people. Last december I gave christmas pressie only to 2ppl. -_- But turns out this month's the month that I'm feeling more generous (I'm always one though :p) and bought stuff for ppl that they reminded me of. Even if it's a small thing it means a lot too right.
Another New Year Resolution:
Not to be late for everything!
Vivi you can do it. Please try your best.
I know I did improve compared to the last 2years.
But I can do better.
I used to dont love myself at all, but now I know that I've love myself more.
I have no rights to love others if I dont even love myself. Am I not wrong to say that?
Saturday 15 January 2011 | 2:11 am
& the story continues,
Just happen to come across this song. The song isnt that nice. It's not really catchy leh, but i think it's because of the lyrics. I kinda like part of the lyrics.
Haha, this is the kind of songs pri sch girls would like one sia. This would probably be my fav song if i'm still 10 years old. xD She reminds me of avril lavigne though.
How I wish things were this cool.
Actually I've been staring at my post thinking of what else i can blog about.
My back hurts.
I'm tired.
I really care.
I'm so easily influenced and easily affected.
Envy much.
I really care.
Sometimes I wish people can know me better.
I wanna it to last forever.
I dont know how to express myself.
Love hurts whether it is right or wrong.
okay off to bed now.
Saturday 8 January 2011 | 12:50 pm
Chemical romance & the story continues,
Taken from 2Jan, 2011, TheSundayTimes, in the Life! section.
Thought this article was quite interesting, so I decided to share. ;)
Jan 2, 2011
Chemical romance
Locking lips smacks of hormones at play and can help you decide if someone is a suitable partner
Getting within nose range of someone allows you to detect information about a person's health. -- PHOTO: XINHUA
Click to see the full article. :)
| 11:09 am
Apparently soulmate shouldnt be this easy to come by & the story continues,
Met tongy for brunch on thursday and to keep each other updated about our lives. ;)
Idk why, i can share everything and anything with her (even the most embarrassing and awkward situation that happened to me), but not with huimin and vania.
Reminded me of wanxin though, where I used to share all my most embarrassing moments of my life back in secondary school. I just feel comfortable talking to them, even though wanxin would roll on the floor and laugh like siao when i told her my embarrassing situations, compared to huimin and vania, which i dont feel quite comfortable when they laugh, and even if they didnt laugh.
But i'm glad I finally found someone whom I can share anything and everything with.
It's really good to have such a close friend to share about each other's lives.
I think i've learnt to become more caring and concerned to more people in my lives, even if they're just acquaintances.
Met vania later in the evening to pei her to shop for her CNY clothes at city plaza.
YES, city plaza. xD
I always have the impression that city plaza is a -_- place to shop, but apparently it isnt so.
A place where I used to think that it's for maids and ahmas to hang around where they sell o-biang clothes, turns out to be better than fareast and bugis street imo. Sis agreed to go shopping with me at city plaza the next time. That'll be her first time and my second time going there to shop haha. Shall drag tongy (YES YOU :p) to go there during the semester break too kekeke. Some clothes are quite cheap lah, but there're some slightly expensive clothes too. There's not much jumper and romper though. Vania was searching high and low for it but could only find one nice romper.
Took picture with her at the bus stop usng my MACBOOK! -.- She asked me to bring my macbook to meet her so that we can take pictures. ._. So heavy leh, but nvm because she asked (and i love her)! :) Ask and it shall be given to you. :p
we really took those pictures at the bus stop leh. Ppl were looking at us, but vania dont really care, so i didnt care much abt it too. :p
Met chan mali chan for dinner and went to his house. Watch 'Date Night' in his macbook and didnt know what to do after that. We always dont know what to do whenever we meet sia. And he was suppose to think of what to do lor. Haiyoeh. I still love him for who he is though. x)
Nevertheless, time still past really fast even when we were doing nth/stoning. :\
Many theories exist as to what is a soulmate. The original roots of the concept go back to a belief in reincarnation. A soulmate is someone that you have encountered in many different life times and have loved many times. That is why the first time you meet them in this lifetime you feel as if you have known them forever before you even knew their name. There is a mystical deja vue energy right from the start. Can you have more then one soulmate during your lifetime? Originally, the answer was no. As the definition of the word soulmate has changed, so has that answer. People’s religious and spiritual beliefs deeply affects how they view the concept of soulmates.
It was originally believed that soulmates are created when the creator takes a soul and splits it into two, as it is caste into human form. Each half is supposed to learn the life lessons at their own pace. When the two halves sometimes cross paths during various lifetimes, they have a cosmic powerful bond because they really are of the same soul. They complete each other. They are often very much alike, and the intensity of the connection is too much for a mere human with emotions and issues to handle, so they painfully end up parting ways. When they both finish their lessons, they are both reunited in heaven and come together as a beautiful representation of love and unity. This is also known as your twin flame. Only one person is the other half of your soul.
Loving a soulmate or twin flame is often difficult because we are not usually able to love and accept ourselves, so why would we be able to love the other half of our own soul?
Today, people use the word soulmate to mean anyone that you fall madly in love with and feel the heavens have blessed your relationship. There are people claiming that more and more soulmates are being brought together during this time in history so that they can unite their forces to bring healing and loving energy back to this planet. Since nobody can prove or disprove any of this, who is to say that all of the great loves in your life, were not all soulmates. It used to mean a very rare and cosmic match that shares your same soul.
All love is sacred and holy no matter what you believe about reincarnation and soulmates. We are better off not trying to force it into any one definition or to create a bunch of dogmatic rules around who does or does not get to call their beloved by the name of soulmate.
Wednesday 5 January 2011 | 9:56 pm
i'm counting on God im counting on God & the story continues,
Went to do manicure with BFF huimin today. ;)
Skyped with vania just now and still skyping now. ^^
So fun. Never thought it would be so fun skyping. Partly why i didnt use my skype acc until vania wanna skype with me. awesommeeeeee. :D
We agreed that we would start studying at 11pm while on skype, but here i am, still blogging. -.-
I would probably start doing after blogging. ;)
A deliveryman delivered ice-blended coffee and cinnamon roll from starbucks to my house this afternoon. Kinda surprised when my maid took it out when I reached home. Totally made my day. My maid was laughing at me when she saw me grinning to myself. xD It would be better if I could see that deliveryman though. :)
HAPPY 3RD MONTHSARY. <3
Tuesday 4 January 2011 | 10:50 pm
Sheeeeeeeeeeesh. & the story continues,
Certain words do trigger my emotions.
Congratulation, you just hit the trigger button.
Srsly, sometimes I really think I have mental problem.
I have my first heartache when ___________.
I dont think i've ever felt it before in my life.
It happens frequently after that, even for the slightest matter.
Even when you said the 3 words i get that numb feeling in my heart too.
And i dont really know if you get that heartache feeling like i do or not.
Why do I have it GAH.
Monday 3 January 2011 | 7:28 pm
Monday bluez & the story continues,
Goodbye 2010. It's 2011 alr. Time flies so quickly.
And before i knew it'll be 2012.
New year resolution.. What's mine? :\
My ministry i/c made one for me, that is not to be late to serve from this week on. :x
I think one of my NY resolution, which it's the most impt one imo, will be spending quality time with close friends and love ones.
I know i've been such a lousy friend to everyone. Yeah, to everyone, including huimin and vania, though they're my closest friends.
I didnt try to keep in contact with them, despite that they kept smsing and msning me. I feel so bad. I mean, I do think of them constantly, and I miss them all the time, but I dont put it into action. I dont try to sms/call them, or even try to find time to meet up with them. It feels like I'm waiting for them to contact me. They're always the one who always initiate to meet up. It's until recently that i've tried to keep in contacts with quite a handful of my close and good friends. I'm afraid I might lose them.
Honestly speaking, sometimes i didnt contact them cause i'm lazy to keep in contact with them. i feel so exhausted by all the things that I'v got to do everyday. I even lost my interest to draw and write my diary. And I really feel so lousy about myself.
Sometimes when I think of what I've done as a friend, a close friend, a BFF, I realise I havent done much. Srsly, I always wonder how's their life and whether they're doing alright etc, but i dont make any effort to contact them when they're just an sms/a phone call away. Instead, I just continue to lie on my bed and have these questions unanswered. I didnt put much effort.
But that doesnt mean I dont love them. I still love them alot. I really really love and miss them. Havent meet huimin for sooo long, i feel really sad. Extremely sad. Our schedules clash and we can't find a date to meet up. :\ It's like I didnt cherish my close and good friends around me.
All of a sudden i feel so empty inside.
But no matter what, they will always be my closest friends forever and ever.
Huimin will always be my BFF, Vania will always be my closest meimei, no matter what, even if they start to dislike me and stop trying to keep in contact with me because i'm still such a lousy friend.
I'm really not good at keeping in contact with them. Sometimes I dont even try to tell them about my life and open up to them. It's kinda like my weakness. I dont know how on earth am i to explain to them if they were to ask, i'll probably just cry.
I must have better time management.
God please help me.
I feel so empty inside. :'(
Please let me cry my heart out. Im tired of not being able to cry despite trying to force out tears from my eyes.
All of a sudden i feel so frustrated, not of everyone, but of myself. I think I've screwed up my own life in 2010.
I really feel so bad. I'm not a good person, I havent been good to everyone.
If only I can manage my time well. And here in 2011, I know I will.
I must believe 2011 will be a blessed and better year for me.
Greater things are yet to come, vivi. :)
2011 will be the best year yet for you, for me, and everyone else.
Friends that I will always rmb: Those in the NPGG, BFF huimin, vania meimei, wanxin, gabrielle, yingtian, dexy, tongy, esther, belinda. I love all of you. Sorry for being such a lousy friend.
